Archive for fake cheese

Cheese Racing

Posted in Portland with tags , on May 21, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

Okay, so I know that I just blogged smack about cheese racing in my previous post, but…

this “sport” is so down right ludicrous, that a little part of me couldn’t help but delve in a little further. I mean really, the Cheese Racing site offers this warning…

WARNING!! Cheese racing can be dangerous – the makers of this website CAN NOT be held responsible for any accidents or injuries that may occur. Practice safe cheese racing by following these simple guide lines.

  • Do NOT attempt ‘indoor cheese racing’. This is strictly an outdoor sport. (This includes tents!)

  • Be sure to ingest large quantities of alcohol and/or other chemical relaxant before (and during) play. This will relax the body and nervous system, thus minimising the pain of any injury and enabling you to play on.

Having said that, the sport does have an impressive safety record with zero fatalities so far…

And just a couple videos (and maybe a few cheese slices) to purge my system of it’s freakish interest in cheese racing…

First…
a direct violation of Cheese Racing warning #1

Next, cheese racing the Out Doors way.
(Though I believe they may very well be in violation of Cheese Racing warning #2)

More Fun than Blowing Things Up…

Posted in Portland with tags , on May 21, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

It’s gotta be Playing with Fire.

And, since I’m going on a camping trip over Memorial Day weekend, I’ll have plenty of opportunities to to play god with fire. Or, play several gods at that… Pele, Hestia, Vesta, and yes, maybe even Vulcan. Not to be confused with the slightly less-than-godly Vulcan.

To spark my weekend intrigue (yes, lame-ass pun intended) I started poking around to see what I could see. When I came across this Slashfood post, I immediately empathized with the blogger’s opinion of individually wrapped fake cheese slices:

there’s really nothing redeeming about them. You get a mouthful of tasteless cheesy food product that coats your tongue like liquid plastic and ruins a perfectly good piece of grilled meat.

Because of my disdain for these slices of faux cheese, I was particularly delighted to discover a far more interesting and creative use for them. Cheese racing. This is a practice in which people (mostly like while they are under the influence of alcohol) toss the still-wrapped slices onto a grill, in order to see who’s slice will puff up the fastest.

While this is certainly an option, I am hard-pressed to waste my earned $ on nasty fake cheese. Even if it is to toss it straight into the fire. Because really, if I wanted to blow my money on something I’d just throw into the fire, I’d opt for (aside from the obvious firewood) something like a hand full of Black Cats. Hmmmm… play with fire and blow things up. Now we’re talking.