Archive for July, 2008

FREE -> 100% Fresh Organic Herbs! All except for the occasional splash of bum urine

Posted in Portland with tags , , on July 29, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

…urine which very well may be tainted with a number of non-organic substances.

Yup. That’s the thought that interrupted my otherwise sweet stream of consciousness as I wondered past patch after patch of fresh herbs growing in South East Portland. Oh, I know. Someone planted them there. In which case, I should keep my grubby, curious little paws off them.

Okay fine.

But there are still countless patches of herbs growing “wild”, shall I say? …Patches existing outside the realm of front-yard gardens.

Exhibit A: Rosemary

LOCATION: You guessed it. I could tell you, but then I’d have to do something both of us would regret.


Exhibit B: Lavender

Yeah, another undisclosed location. So hate me. Better yet, find your own patches. Trust me… they are all over!


Oh yes. And words of wisdom: Wash Well.


SPAM Cook Off

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 22, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

Did you miss this year’s annual SPAM Cook Off?  This wondrous SPAM Cook Off can be found only in the heart of Fremont, Nebraska (and other prestigious U.S. locals selected primarily for their exquisitely refined palates).

And, if you did miss it, fear not.  Nail biting results are just before your very eyes. AND, the number one winner of this year’s annual SPAM Cook Off is… <drum roll>


WTF!??!!! you ask. I know, you’re curious and a little confounded, but not to worry. Here’s the award winning recipe…

First Place Recipe: Spyros

Shirelle loves gyros, so she decided to give this favorite a SPAM twist. She also substituted tortillas for the pita bread. The result was a flavorful, full of good-for-you vegetables, creamy-sauced sandwich that added zest to an old favorite. The judges loved it and deemed it worthy to enter in the national competition.


by Shirelle Flores

1 can (12-ounce) 25% Low Sodium SPAM
1/2 cup finely chopped or shredded onion
2 teaspoons fresh minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon dried ground rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried ground marjoram
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3 large burrito-style flour tortillas or authentic pita bread
1 head lettuce, shredded
4 ripe tomatoes, sliced
1 can (6 ounces) whole black olives
1 package feta cheese
1 large red onion, sliced
Cucumber Yogurt Mix:
1/2 cup shredded cucumbers
1 cup plain white yogurt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon vinegar

Prepare cucumber yogurt mix by combining all ingredients and then refrigerate to chill. In a shallow baking pan add the olive oil and all of the seasonings including the onion and garlic. Marinate 12 evenly sliced pieces of SPAM in the mixture for about 15 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees for about five to eight minutes or until SPAM is crispy around all edges and soft in the middle. While the SPAM slices are marinating, you should start preparing your garnish items such as slicing tomatoes and shredding lettuce. Warm your tortillas according to package directions. Take four slices of your baked SPAM and place on tortilla. Garnish with the lettuce, tomatoes, red onion, black olives and feta cheese. Add the cucumber yogurt mix on top. Fold the bottom of the tortilla up and wrap. Now enjoy your Spyro.


Alright. Enough gastrointestinal mayhem for one night.

World leaders enjoy 18-course banquet as they discuss how to solve global food crisis

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on July 16, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

Click to enlarge menu

Perhaps they should’ve invited a few stakeholders to the table.


Full story by James Chapman via MailOnline

Hot, Limp Pickle

Posted in Portland with tags , , , , , on July 14, 2008 by Donna Arriaga

Seriously. That’s what you get when…

you drop a
several week/month/year-old pickle
— who’s suspended succulence —
— was made possible thanks to a high-acid bath —
into a very, very, very
hot vat of splitter, splattering oil.

Images of hot, limp pickles danced through my mind as I challenged myself to experience this abomination of an otherwise crunchy, tangy little treat.

exhibit 2

Ever-so-bravely, I took the plunge. Not surprisingly, the outside was fried to a perfect golden, greasy little crispity crisp. Also not surprisingly, the inside — the actual pickle — was warm and soggy.

I took one bite and couldn’t finish.

Yeah, yeah. I blog smack about these nasty little GI bombs. But in all fairness, (or simply to twist things up a bit), I should share that my two dinner comrades found the contradictory soggy/crunchy pickle combination to their liking.

Still, the most impressive element of this bold experience — hands down — were my comrades’ fried-pickle comments:

“I can see it on an omelet. Really.”

“It’s like a vege alternative.”

“Ketchup on fried pickles. It’s like white trash on top of white trash,” she said with a big dollop of catsup on the end of her pickle.

“Fried pickle belch is not the tastiest.”

Our fried pickles were scrounged up at Fire on the Mountain.
Thanks, guys.
For an experienc.e